


This is How it Begins (Flowers growing in my Veins)

by Stargirltakingflight



Series: „They say life is a continuous circle“ [2]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Team Iron Man, Hurt Tony Stark, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-10 02:54:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18929842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stargirltakingflight/pseuds/Stargirltakingflight
Summary: Tony wakes up and has a conversation with those dearest to him.—————Or: He resolves to do better.





	This is How it Begins (Flowers growing in my Veins)

**Author's Note:**

> So this is part two of this short series. Hopefully you‘ll enjoy it. 
> 
> If you liked it, as always, leave kudos and comment, it absolutely makes my day!

Tony opens his eyes in a white space. He can’t see much, not used to the lights but his mind is in overdrive because that’s just who he is. The last thing he remembers is the cold embrace of his broken suit in siberia, the panic and eventual acceptance of his oncoming death. But now, it seems, he’s either gone to the afterlife (hell, if anything, because heaven is not something he’d ever see possible for himself) and he very much doubts that, as the atheist and sceptic he is, or, through some miracle feat he’s back with the living.

His vision is clearing, little by little, so he interrupts his internal monologue to look around the room. There's a vase filled with flowers on his nightstand, next to what looks like an emergency button and a glass of water. On the wall across the room there’s a medical cabinet and an unused IV stand, so he assumes he’s in a hospital. It smells like one too. Experimentally, very slowly, he tries to move parts of his body, fully aware how easily the human body can be… damaged by the cold. To his relief, there seems to be no problem moving first his left, and then his right foot, curling his tomas and trying to feel his legs. He moves on to arms and fingers, and finally pushes himself in a more upward position.  
Now, finally able to look out of the window on his left, he sees a park of some sort, and counts it as a blessing that the seasons don’t seem to have changed at least, so he hopefully wasn’t out of it for too long. His mind is already swirling with ideas and thoughts of damage control and oh god, is Rhodey ok? And where is Pepper, god he didn’t even make up with her before leaving. What if she doesn’t want to see him again? Before he can start spiraling even deeper into his panic attack, his eyes droop and sleep claims him once again. 

The next time he wakes up, he’s not alone. There are two people in his room, one standing, the other sitting, and they’re talking in low voices, as if not to wake him up. He looks at them.  
„P..Pep?“ She turns around, red hair falling freely, and starts smiling gently.  
„Hey Tony, how are you feeling?“ She walks over to him and reaches out for his hand. „  
I, what happened Pep? I thought I was going to die. And we all know, I’m too young and beautiful for that!“  
He aims a grin at her, though it is probably less effective because of the pitiful state he’s currently in.  
„Still using humor to deflect, huh Tones? Thought we got past that back at MIT.“ He smiles at him, a reassuring sight ever since they first met in college, but the guilt and realisation of why he’s the only one sitting shoots through him at the sight of his best friend.  
„R..Rhodey? Oh god, how are you? I, fuck, I’m so sorry, what can I, jesus how can you stand to look at me?“ He can‘t look at Rhodey without red hot self loathing cursing through his veins and averts his eyes, though evidently his outburst shocked them both. Pepper resumes her gentle caressing of his hand as Rhodey rolls over to his bed and reaches out to pat him on the head.  
„Don’t you dare think this is your fault, Tones. I was the one who put on the suit, the one who decided to fly and I don’t regret a single second of it. So don‘t you dare either, alright? I've flown my fair share of missions, and we both know that it's a goddamn miracle it lasted as long as it did.“ Tony doesn’t believe him, not really, not yet. But it still feels good to know his best friend doesn’t blame him for all that’s happened. He‘ll blame himself enough for the two of them together. 

Soon enough he gets sleepy again, and Pepper and Rhodey leave him to recuperate, though not before he has wrangled a promise of a stark tablet with friday on it the next time they come visit from them, because they all know he’ll go insane with too much free time and no means of noting down ideas.

Then, he’s alone. And he needs to face the fact he’d ignored while he distracted himself with Pepper and Rhodey. He’d expected to die. He’d, well, not made his peace with it, certainly, but he’d reached an agreement. And now he’s alive. He’s had his fair share of near death experiences, but never one where he fully believed with all his heart that this was it. The end of the line. And it wasn‘t. So what does he do next?

He can’t go back to the way things were, he couldn’t bring himself to do it if he were forced to. He can’t be buddy buddy with the man who killed him and the one who killed his mother, and jesus that hurts almost as much as the knowledge that Rogers had hid this from him for years.

He’ll need to publically distance himself and his company from the Avengers, seeing what a trainwreck that whole idea had been. A group of entitled superpowered idiots and they thought they’d make a good earth protection squad? Please, as if that was ever going to work. Then, he’ll need to focus more on the Spider Boy, because he honestly reminds him if himself at that age. Mind, the boy‘s far better than he ever was, and he wants to make sure it stays that way. He also really needs to make things up to Pepper, because he cannot bear to live without her, as he‘s recently figured out. 

And lastly, he’ll need to figure out a way to help Rhodey, which, he’s been saying for years that the company should expand to other areas and if he manages to present a working prototype to the board, even the old geezers aren’t going to be able to stop him from pursuing that technology. „Stark men were made of iron“, his father used to say. But he was made of titanium gold alloy and that didn’t bend to the whims of others. Not anymore.

Tony Stark closed his eyes in a siberian bunker, fully expecting to die. As he closes them in a hospital room, somewhere in New York, some time after the X-Vengers had broken their companions out of the raft, he is filled with a newfound determination to do better, to honour the blessing of yet another chance with all that it deserved. And he vows to do better.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! If you want to talk to me about marvel or anything else with me I am always happy to do so.  
> You can reach me on tumblr at introvertedgirlsarentshy.
> 
> And please, comment and or leave kudos if you enjoyed it!  
> It really means a lot to me (it also means I write more, as an added benefit!)


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